After last night, I could never be a politician.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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