I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize