we made out on top of his cat.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
