Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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