You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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