she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
