therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
