The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize