i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
