Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I didn't notice because vodka
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
