i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize