I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
