now i know why i became what i already was.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
