'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
