No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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