Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Did I show you my penis last night?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
