Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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