She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
