Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
