Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
