And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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