I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
