sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
