P.S. I can't hear my feet
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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