Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
