found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
