I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
