Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
