I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
