threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
