I wish I could punch you in the face.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
