where am i from again
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My dick has a subreddit
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
