I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
