You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
