haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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