I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
