My hand turned me down
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
