I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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