How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
