It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
