I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
