you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
