Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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