I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
