the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
