Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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