I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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