you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
