Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
