just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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