I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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