So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
