it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
