We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
