so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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