Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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