eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
