she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
