Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize