You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize