so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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