you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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