Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
