right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
