Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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