I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Randomize
