We're like a lot better than the average bears
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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