Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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