Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Randomize
