It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
