That's intense
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
