I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
