How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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