I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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