Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
