I am spending my child support on dildos
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
