I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I touched a dick in church today
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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